


Autumn Rain

by Ninah



Category: BTOB
Genre: M/M, Songfic, draft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninah/pseuds/Ninah
Summary: The beginning is loveFirst loveUnchangeable feelingsNever revealed





	Autumn Rain

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write a songfic for the first time. I used the lyrics of [Akisame by ADAMS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAjKNYkYsnw) for this.
> 
> It's just a really short fic written in just a few hours, I didn't put much thoughts into this to be honest. And songfics are harder than I thought haha.

It was on mid-July, when it was hot. Ilhoon met Hyunsik in a café and they instantly became attracted to each other.

Ilhoon who was sitting at a table, couldn't stop watching this man sitting alone at the bar.. When Hyunsik turned his head to look at who was staring at him, Ilhoon looked away, embarassed. But he wasn't expecting for the man to come sitting before him at his table, with a smile so bright the sun could be jealous of.

 

Hyunsik, who was spending his vacation at Seoul to meet with friends and enjoy the capital's life, actually spent his entire month with Ilhoon. They'd meet at places like café and park and would pass the whole day together until late at night where they separated with a bit of bitterness.

One night, a bit less than one week after their first meeting, in front of Ilhoon's house, Hyunsik kissed him for the first time. And things escalated quickly.

Like the summer's heat, they were entangled in a hot and intense relationship.

It was summer love.

 

_The beginning is love_  
_First love_  
_Unchangeable feelings_  
_Never revealed_

 

However, because Hyunsik was the sweet kind of guy, always caring and thoughtful, Ilhoon, even though he knew it'd be ephemeral, really fell in love with him. It was a short period of time, but he loved like he had never loved before. His real first love.

As the days passed, the feelings got stronger and bigger each days. But because he didn't want to disturb him with something that might not be reciprocal, he never said a word about it, not even on the last day, keeping his pain to himself.

Autumn came and Hyunsik has been long left.

 

_I lie awake in a cold bed._  
_Without you beside me, I'm surprised by the sound of your breathing_  
_Shallow sleep in the space where your arms used to be  
__Your scent lingers_

 

Ilhoon is all alone now. Loneliness and emptiness keeps devouring him. He can't stop thinking about Hyunsik. The words he should have said to him. The things he should have done with him. The thing they'd be doing if he was still here. He still misses him badly. His smiles, his expressions, his looks, his kisses, his arms, his warmth.

_  
“Hold me.”_ murmurred Ilhoon in his breath.

  
_Even now in this quiet room_  
_I think of those memories as I look up_  
_I block my ears, but your voice still echoes even now_

 

Imagining he was beside him in his bed like everyday in their last three weeks was sad, but it was the only thing he can do to be keep a link with Hyunsik. These nights where they were in each other's arms were the moments they were the closer. Physically. Emotionally. In the morning, they would cuddle a bit in the bed before making breakfast together in laughs, smiles, and little stolen kisses. 

He saw himself kissing Hyunsik's plump lips, then slowly descending on his chin, his neck to wake him up. And then reality hit Ilhoon when he opened his eyes to see only a pillow before him.

 

_It began to rain._

Literally. The sky himself was morose and started to cry, like if it was reflecting his everyday mood.  
Figuratively. As the pretty eyes were once again brimming with tears.  
Hyunsik left mid-August with something behind him which he probably wasn't aware of.

 

_Indelible pain_  
_An open wound that cannot be hidden_  
_The rain becomes stronger_  
_My voice is drowned out, I cry_

 

How could he have known? Ilhoon himself didn't know it'd be this painful too. It was clear ever since the beginning. The man before him in the café clearly implied he wasn't looking for anything serious. And he agreed. It's his fault for falling in love when he shouldn't have. He can only blame himself for this.

The sky is sad and he was shuddering.

_I have forgotten how much I've cried. I become the rain._

_In the autumn rain_  
_I scattered into eternity…_

One lifetime regret.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [ADAMS USA](http://www.adamsandevesusa.com) for the english translation!


End file.
